When I was 7 weeks pregnant we pretty much knew what was happening. I had a copper IUD in my uterus along with a baby. The IUD could not bee taken out without causing a miscarriage. Because it could not bee taken out, my chances of a natural miscarriage and infection were going to bee much higher than they would with a normal pregnancy.
We also knew how we were feeling. Josh and I both felt that this was unfair. We had done everything (except abstinence) to prevent pregnancy but it still happened. We were responsible, we were on track with our life plans and all of a sudden, so much was being taken away. I had been studying for the GMAT and planning to go back to school for a M.B.A. in a year. We would bee parents without friends or family to support us in the big city of LA. Being a mom at 25 years old was ridiculously young; I still view myself as a kid. And our wedding was, and still is, one of the biggest sacrifices.
The problem was the odds. With such a high chance that this pregnancy would end, maybe all of these sacrifices wouldn't bee sacrifices. Maybe everything could go back to normal as if I were never pregnant. But then again, the pregnancy could bee just fine and we could have a baby. As much of the bad stuff that we saw about the situation, we also knew that we wanted to bee parents one day and that if we continued with the pregnancy, we would grow to love the baby and look forward to everything that we were supposed to. And with a child, all of these sacrifices would someday bee obsolete.
Josh and I felt like we had a decision to make; to either continue on with a high risk pregnancy and sacrifice so much that we had been looking forward to in the coming years OR to terminate, leave the health risks behind and get the control back to move on with our life plan. We also knew that we needed to make that decision sooner than later because the longer we waited the more attached we'd become and the decision would become more and more difficult. It was really challenging to face this type of decision alone. There were many reasons why Josh and I didn't tell anyone about this situation:
1. I was only 7 weeks along.
2. We were still coming to grips with the fact that I was actually pregnant.
3. We didn't know if we were going to terminate or not.
4. I felt ashamed, as if I had done something wrong.
5. We were scared about what our family and friends would think.
So, we discussed our options, our old plan and a new plan, what is important to us, etc. After weighing the pros and cons, we decided that continuing with the pregnancy would bee the best decision for us. With this decision we had to become committed to becoming parents in 8 months but not get too attached for fear that we would lose the baby because of the IUD.
One of the biggest reasons for choosing to continue with the pregnancy was that we are in a loving and committed relationship. Although the timing wasn't right, we did want to bee parents and given our backgrounds we felt that dealing with a possible miscarriage would bee more bearable than accepting a decision to terminate. So, we developed a brand new plan.
Hi. I just came across your blog. I wish I knew how thing turned out for you. I just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have a cooper IUD. The string can't be found and the doctor isn't too sure if they are seeing the IUD With an ultrasound. I have to wait to have a better ultrasound at between 11 and 13 weeks. I pray it's not there. I hope you have a happy ending to you story
ReplyDeleteGosh! I pretty much had forgotten that I ever started a blog and of course I stopped writing far too soon in my journey!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing a similar story but I hope the ending to mine can bring you some hope...
My pregnancy was very healthy and normal, despite the IUD. Labor was long and difficult but that was just my body. Baby was born with no problems and the IUD was embedded in the placenta. So many nurses came into the room to see the IUD. Baby is now 4, reading at a third grade level, energetic as can be, a total mama's boy, and a great big brother.
After having our first boy, we decided to get the copper IUD again, figuring that the chances of getting pregnant again were still just as slim, and I was always tracking my cycle, had a few months of being scared but ultimately never got pregnant with the IUD again. I think having already had a baby, the second IUD fit better inside me, preventing it from getting lost. It was a very difficult decision to try for a second child because I knew that having another baby would further delay my career goals, and label me as "mother" even more profoundly. But, we certainly do not regret any of our decisions as we now have a wonderful family.
Being a mom has been very challenging, and I still feel that my twenties were stolen from me, but I have learned so much about myself, how I respond to certain situations, how strong I am, how loving I can be, and most importantly, how much I am loved (by my parents, husband, friends, children).
For your journey in this pregnancy, I suggest that you keep calm, stress is not what either you nor the baby will thrive from. Find ways to be the person you have always wanted to be, now while pregnant, and after. And, join the groups on the What to Expect When You're Expecting app/website. There are many women there that are in the same stage of pregnancy as you, first time moms, second time, etc. They can be a great, personal resource for opinions, knowledge, advice, and support. Good luck!